There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.

Quote by H L Mencken

Topics: Humor Quotes

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.

Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born...

Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born...

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.

Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together....

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together....

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is...

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is...

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the...

No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the...

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe...

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe...

The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.

The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.

Judge: a law student who marks his own examination-papers.

Judge: a law student who marks his own examination-papers.

Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a...

Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a...

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also...

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also...

There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.

There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.

It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from...

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from...

When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.

When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.