The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: Friends Quotes

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little...

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

I am almost sure to be blotted out by death, but sometimes I think it...

I am almost sure to be blotted out by death, but sometimes I think it...

Humanity should question itself, once more, about the absurd and always unfair phenomenon of war,...

Humanity should question itself, once more, about the absurd and always unfair phenomenon of war,...