The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

Quote by Brian Weis

Topics: Funny Quotes, Golf Quotes

For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats.

For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats.

Age is like love, it cannot be hid.

Age is like love, it cannot be hid.

The execs don't care what color you are. They care about how much money you...

The execs don't care what color you are. They care about how much money you...

It is my art. I am better at it than I ever was. And I...

It is my art. I am better at it than I ever was. And I...

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise...

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise...

The control of nature is a phrase conceived in arrogance, born of the Neanderthal age...

The control of nature is a phrase conceived in arrogance, born of the Neanderthal age...

French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...

French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the...

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week...

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week...

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...

A man never knows how to say goodbye, a woman never knows when to say...

A man never knows how to say goodbye, a woman never knows when to say...

I enjoy life. I think I'll enjoy death even more.

I enjoy life. I think I'll enjoy death even more.

I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms...

I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms...

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up,...

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up,...

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an...

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an...

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

The best example of democracy I can recall is five wolves sitting down to dinner...

The best example of democracy I can recall is five wolves sitting down to dinner...

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you...

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you...

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called...

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called...