The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

Quote by Brian Weis

Topics: Funny Quotes, Golf Quotes

I hate it when I am singing a song and the artist gets the words...

I hate it when I am singing a song and the artist gets the words...

Have you seen my Kung fu lately? Cause it has gotten totally awsome!

Have you seen my Kung fu lately? Cause it has gotten totally awsome!

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

And it is not our part here to take thought only for a season, or...

And it is not our part here to take thought only for a season, or...

I dont like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.

I dont like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.

Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable.

Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable.

The truth is, I do indulge myself a little the more in pleasure, knowing that...

The truth is, I do indulge myself a little the more in pleasure, knowing that...

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.

As for types like my own, obscurely motivated by the conviction that our existence was...

As for types like my own, obscurely motivated by the conviction that our existence was...

The only war we ever had was the time we ran out of Mr Kipling...

The only war we ever had was the time we ran out of Mr Kipling...

You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I'm not hungry enough to eat...

You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I'm not hungry enough to eat...

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how youre feeling, it becomes funny.

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of...

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of...

By the time you get dressed, drive out there, play 18 holes and come home,...

By the time you get dressed, drive out there, play 18 holes and come home,...

There are two things that won't last long in this world, and that's dogs chasing...

There are two things that won't last long in this world, and that's dogs chasing...