Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

Quote by Robert Orben

Topics: Robert Orben Quotes

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted...

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted...

A compliment is verbal sunshine

A compliment is verbal sunshine

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to...

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to...

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back...

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back...

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't...

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't...

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than...

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than...

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee....

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee....

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs...

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs...

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed...

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed...