My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.

Quote by Weird Al Yankovic

Topics: Weird Al Yankovic Quotes

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra,...

Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra,...

I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of...

I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of...

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use...

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use...

No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.

No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on...

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on...

The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I...

The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I...

Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising...

Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising...

My wife went off with Elvis.

My wife went off with Elvis.

I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.

I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend...

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend...

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a...

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a...

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty...

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty...

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

I love Rocky Road.

I love Rocky Road.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe...

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe...

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World...

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World...

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it...

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it...