If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.

Quote by Dick Gregory

Topics: Dick Gregory Quotes

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only...

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only...

Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than...

Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than...

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it...

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it...

And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The...

And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The...

I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly...

I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly...

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in...

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in...

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the...

Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the...

In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the...

In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the...

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can...

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can...

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's...

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's...

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and...

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and...

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about...

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about...

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into...

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into...

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six...

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six...

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a...

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a...

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a...

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a...

I give you Chicago. It is not London and Harvard. It is not Paris and...

I give you Chicago. It is not London and Harvard. It is not Paris and...

Chicago is the product of modern capitalism, and, like other great commercial centers, is unfit...

Chicago is the product of modern capitalism, and, like other great commercial centers, is unfit...

Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest. If you have...

Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest. If you have...