When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

Quote by Dick Gregory

Topics: Dick Gregory Quotes

I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly...

I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly...

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into...

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into...

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their...

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their...

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can...

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can...

Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than...

Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than...

I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for...

I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for...

In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the...

In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the...

And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The...

And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The...

If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.

If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's...

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's...

Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the...

Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the...

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and...

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and...

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a...

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a...

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six...

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six...

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only...

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only...

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a...

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a...

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about...

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about...