I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

Quote by Stephen Wright

Topics: Dreams Quotes, Television Quotes

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one...

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go...

Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go...

My friend has a baby, I am recording all the noises he makes so I...

My friend has a baby, I am recording all the noises he makes so I...

Boy, life takes a long time to live

Boy, life takes a long time to live

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I...

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I...

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new...

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new...

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing...

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing...

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things... I play with leaves. I skip down...

I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things... I play with leaves. I skip down...

If you're going to play the game properly, you'd better know every rule.

If you're going to play the game properly, you'd better know every rule.

I decided to join Barcelona because it's a sunny place. They are building for the...

I decided to join Barcelona because it's a sunny place. They are building for the...