I love acting, but it's all just a bonus.

Quote by Tim Vine

Topics: Tim Vine Quotes

I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a...

I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a...

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the...

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the...

My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have...

My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have...

I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.

I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.

I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was...

I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was...

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing...

People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing...

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang...

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang...

Velcro: what a rip-off.

Velcro: what a rip-off.

So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said...

So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said...

With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm...

With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm...

Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in...

Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in...

I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in...

I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in...

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?'...

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?'...

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people...

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people...

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with...

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with...

So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming...

So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming...

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people...

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people...