I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions. And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriffs deputy to make friends. And by the way, I havent.

Quote by Dwight Schrute

Topics: Dwight Schrute Quotes

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy...

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy...

Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel...

Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel...

You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

The eyes are the groin of the head.

The eyes are the groin of the head.

I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was...

I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was...

I dont care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.

I dont care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was...

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was...

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake...

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake...

Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own...

Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own...

The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont...

The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont...

How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable

How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable

Before I do anything I ask myself Would an idiot do that? And if the...

Before I do anything I ask myself Would an idiot do that? And if the...

Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th...

Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th...

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position...

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position...

I am not a security threat, and my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.

I am not a security threat, and my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.

When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me...

When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me...

Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects...

Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects...

Why tip someone for a job Im capable of doing myself? I can deliver food....

Why tip someone for a job Im capable of doing myself? I can deliver food....

I dont believe you, continue.

I dont believe you, continue.

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with...

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with...