I killed my mother, it's ok. -Mr. Cisneros

Quote by Eastbound And Down

Topics: Eastbound And Down Quotes

I could stand to lose four, maybe five pounds to get back in practical game...

I could stand to lose four, maybe five pounds to get back in practical game...

Woo! -Ashley Schaeffer

Woo! -Ashley Schaeffer

It sucks to be an orphan. But you know what doesn't suck? Being a millionaire....

It sucks to be an orphan. But you know what doesn't suck? Being a millionaire....

I know that deep inside you there's a humongous set of testicles just waiting to...

I know that deep inside you there's a humongous set of testicles just waiting to...

This is what I'm talkin about, a fuckin showdown! -Ashley Schaeffer

This is what I'm talkin about, a fuckin showdown! -Ashley Schaeffer

This bar smells like an old lady farted piss. -Bodyguard

This bar smells like an old lady farted piss. -Bodyguard

Well Stevie these motherfuckers, are the church group. -April Buchanon

Well Stevie these motherfuckers, are the church group. -April Buchanon

I didn't even know you hos took credit cards until recently. -Stevie Janowski

I didn't even know you hos took credit cards until recently. -Stevie Janowski

Don't be crazy. Don't be lazy. Hire Kenny Powers. -Stevie Janowski

Don't be crazy. Don't be lazy. Hire Kenny Powers. -Stevie Janowski

If there's one thing I hate, it's losing. If there's two things I hate, it's...

If there's one thing I hate, it's losing. If there's two things I hate, it's...

How much exactly does it cost to buy a Mexican baseball team, ten bucks and...

How much exactly does it cost to buy a Mexican baseball team, ten bucks and...

You and me are the only cool people here. Everybody here is just a bunch...

You and me are the only cool people here. Everybody here is just a bunch...

It ain't often we get many stars in here. Stars kinda make me, oh, how...

It ain't often we get many stars in here. Stars kinda make me, oh, how...

Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless. -Kenny Powers

Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless. -Kenny Powers

Now I know you're not a natural beauty, but I think with the right clothes...

Now I know you're not a natural beauty, but I think with the right clothes...

That's my game. Dickslapping is my game. -Ashley Schaeffer

That's my game. Dickslapping is my game. -Ashley Schaeffer

I transcend race, hombre. -Kenny Powers

I transcend race, hombre. -Kenny Powers

He's my boss, so don't try to suck him off. -Kenny Powers

He's my boss, so don't try to suck him off. -Kenny Powers

Powers, step into my office. Let's do some blow. -Clegg

Powers, step into my office. Let's do some blow. -Clegg

How much will y'all give me if I slam dunk this thing into the trash...

How much will y'all give me if I slam dunk this thing into the trash...