I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Quote by Jack Benny

Topics: Jack Benny Quotes

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Modesty is my best quality.

Modesty is my best quality.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have...

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have...

Gags die, humor doesn't.

Gags die, humor doesn't.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Gags die, humor doesn't

Gags die, humor doesn't

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't...

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't...

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck...

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Modesty is my best quality

Modesty is my best quality

Modesty and unselfishness: These are the virtues which men praise, and pass by

Modesty and unselfishness: These are the virtues which men praise, and pass by

Modesty is to merit, as shades to figures in a picture, giving it strength and...

Modesty is to merit, as shades to figures in a picture, giving it strength and...

A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great...

A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great...

Modesty is the conscience of the body.

Modesty is the conscience of the body.

Modesty is the lowest of the virtues, and is a confession of the deficiency it...

Modesty is the lowest of the virtues, and is a confession of the deficiency it...

So great is the modesty of your mind and face, Sophronius that I wonder you...

So great is the modesty of your mind and face, Sophronius that I wonder you...