I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

Quote by Charlie Sheen

Topics: Charlie Sheen Quotes

I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.

I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.

As kids we're not taught how to deal with success; we're taught how to deal...

As kids we're not taught how to deal with success; we're taught how to deal...

I think I have a duty as a recovering guy to help, to make my...

I think I have a duty as a recovering guy to help, to make my...

The most damage I did was to myself and to the people who got caught...

The most damage I did was to myself and to the people who got caught...

That we are to stand by the President right or wrong is not only unpatriotic...

That we are to stand by the President right or wrong is not only unpatriotic...

I try to be known more for my work than for anything else.

I try to be known more for my work than for anything else.

I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a...

I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a...

The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like...

The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like...

Sure, I did a lot of things in excess. But if you look at the...

Sure, I did a lot of things in excess. But if you look at the...

I was banging seven-gram rocks, because thats how I roll. I have one speed, I...

I was banging seven-gram rocks, because thats how I roll. I have one speed, I...

Im so tired of pretending my life isnt perfect and bitching and just winning every...

Im so tired of pretending my life isnt perfect and bitching and just winning every...

I've always been pretty old-fashioned. I'm kind of a missionary guy.

I've always been pretty old-fashioned. I'm kind of a missionary guy.

I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.

I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.

I'm bi-winning.

I'm bi-winning.

Usually in a battle sequence when a bomb is going off, you forget you're acting.

Usually in a battle sequence when a bomb is going off, you forget you're acting.

There have to be more important things going on in the world than my past.

There have to be more important things going on in the world than my past.

I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars.

I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars.

I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up...

I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up...

I knew if I got loaded I was going away for a while. People would...

I knew if I got loaded I was going away for a while. People would...

There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.

There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.