I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

Quote by Robert Orben

Topics: Cute Quotes, Funny Quotes

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I...

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I...

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

A compliment is verbal sunshine

A compliment is verbal sunshine

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed...

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed...

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed...

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed...

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't...

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't...

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep...

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep...

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the...

Love is when two people who care for each other get confused.

Love is when two people who care for each other get confused.

People always tell me either A. you love him. B. you hate him. My usual...

People always tell me either A. you love him. B. you hate him. My usual...

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.