I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten…

Quote by Garry Shandling

Topics: Garry Shandling Quotes

Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet....

Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet....

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts...

You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts...

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night...

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night...

First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show...

First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show...

Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some...

Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some...

I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has...

I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has...

I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life,...

I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life,...

I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because...

I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because...

Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their...

Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their...

After making love I said to my girl, Was it good for you too? And...

After making love I said to my girl, Was it good for you too? And...

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot...

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot...

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I...

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I...

Im too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I...

Im too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I...

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.

Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some...

Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some...

I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.

I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.

In the great books of India, an empire spoke to us, nothing small or unworthy,...

In the great books of India, an empire spoke to us, nothing small or unworthy,...

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from...

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from...

Sex is an emotion in motion

Sex is an emotion in motion