Dont clap Im not a jazz band for Christs sake.

Quote by Dylan Moran

Topics: Applause Quotes, Jazz Quotes

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly...

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly...

I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.

I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.

I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.

I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.

I don't really think of myself as an actor.

I don't really think of myself as an actor.

I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms...

I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms...

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me...

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me...

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.

The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear...

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear...

If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.

If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy,...

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy,...

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I...

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I...

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a...

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a...

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm...

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm...

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works,...

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works,...

The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.

The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will...

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will...