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The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those...

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those...

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure...

With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure...

Things have dropped from me. I have outlived certain desires; I have lost friends, some...

Things have dropped from me. I have outlived certain desires; I have lost friends, some...

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known...

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known...

All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first

All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty

There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception.

There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception.

Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or...

Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or...

The most dangerous food is wedding cake

The most dangerous food is wedding cake

I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours....

I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours....

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between...

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between...

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.

Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch...

Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch...

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

We all have faults, and mine is being wicked.

We all have faults, and mine is being wicked.

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known...

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known...

The difference between our decadence and the Russians' is that while theirs is brutal, ours...

The difference between our decadence and the Russians' is that while theirs is brutal, ours...

It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by...

It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by...

Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.

Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.