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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start...

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Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start...

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told...

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If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told...

I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

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I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our heart, other people walk...

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Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our heart, other people walk...

When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

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When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands...

If you wouldn't make her a wife. Then don't make her a mother.

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If you wouldn't make her a wife. Then don't make her a mother.

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

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My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

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What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

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A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and...

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This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying...

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When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying...

When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars...

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When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars...

If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return...

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If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return...

Valentine's Day is coming up ? Oh Crap!- I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

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Valentine's Day is coming up ? Oh Crap!- I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die...

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Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die...

Love is a cycle: When you love, you get hurt. When you get hurt, you...

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Love is a cycle: When you love, you get hurt. When you get hurt, you...

Laughter will always be the best medicine, silence will always be the best revenge and...

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Laughter will always be the best medicine, silence will always be the best revenge and...

And then he gives me a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just...

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And then he gives me a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just...

Edward Cullen: I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore. Isabella Swan:...

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Edward Cullen: I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore. Isabella Swan:...