People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.

Quote by Leo J Burke

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sleep Quotes

From the moment of birth, when the stone-age baby confronts the twentieth-century mother, the baby...

From the moment of birth, when the stone-age baby confronts the twentieth-century mother, the baby...

In the information age, you don't teach philosophy as they did after feudalism. You perform...

In the information age, you don't teach philosophy as they did after feudalism. You perform...

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy...

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy...

Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination?

Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination?

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call...

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call...

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, youre...

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, youre...

Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?

Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

A major advantage of age is learning to accept people without passing judgment.

A major advantage of age is learning to accept people without passing judgment.

There are more bad musicians than there is bad music.

There are more bad musicians than there is bad music.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

When I make a mistake, I'm an idiot. When my boss makes a mistake, hey!...

When I make a mistake, I'm an idiot. When my boss makes a mistake, hey!...

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of...

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of...

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

The longest word in the english language is the one that follows the phrase, 'And...

The longest word in the english language is the one that follows the phrase, 'And...

I go to sleep every night thinking of you, I wish you did the same...

I go to sleep every night thinking of you, I wish you did the same...

55% of people yawn within 5 minutes of seeing someone else yawn.

55% of people yawn within 5 minutes of seeing someone else yawn.