There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on Friends is.

Quote by Jon Stewart

Topics: Friends Quotes

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we...

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we...

I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We...

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We...

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the...

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the...

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the...

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the...

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion...

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion...

You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads...

You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads...

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's...

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's...

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote,...

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote,...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride...

The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride...

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my...

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my...

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.