Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco and Adelphia, we finally got the ringleader. Maybe now we can…

Quote by Jon Stewart

Topics: Enron Quotes, Fraud Quotes, Global Crossing Quotes, Terror Alert Quotes

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is...

You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is...

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy....

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy....

You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads...

You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads...

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts...

And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts...

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the...

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the...

Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You...

Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You...

President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of...

President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of...

I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote,...

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote,...

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will...

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will...

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my...

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my...

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion...

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion...

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted...

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted...

The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride...

The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride...

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border....

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border....

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.