I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I…

Quote by Johnny Vegas

Topics: Johnny Vegas Quotes

If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a...

If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a...

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and...

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and...

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of...

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of...

Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.

Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.

I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.

I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.

This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the...

This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the...

We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it...

We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it...

I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.

I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.

For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for...

For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for...

They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living...

They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living...

I use very few muscles at the best of times.

I use very few muscles at the best of times.

I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look...

I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look...

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the...

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the...

Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!

Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a...

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a...

There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything...

There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything...

We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone...

We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone...

You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow...

You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow...

My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on...

My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on...

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.