As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Quote by Roseanne Barr

Topics: Roseanne Barr Quotes

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't...

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't...

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and...

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and...

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just...

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just...

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take...

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be...

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

I know how to do anythingI'm a mom

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the...

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the...

Excuse the mess but we live here.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done...

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done...

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my...

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the...

The most difficult thing in the world is to start a career known only for...

The most difficult thing in the world is to start a career known only for...

Truth -- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

Truth -- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

Where ambition can cover its enterprises, even to the person himself, under the appearance of...

Where ambition can cover its enterprises, even to the person himself, under the appearance of...