So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why…

Quote by Art Buchwald

Topics: Art Buchwald Quotes

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make...

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make...

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65...

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65...

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing...

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing...

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that...

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that...

Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a...

Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, I am not a...

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a...

People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a...

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that...

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that...

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along...

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along...

Whether its the best of times or the worst of times, its the only time...

Whether its the best of times or the worst of times, its the only time...

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the...

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past...

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50...

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50...

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a...

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a...

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are...

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are...

The screen is a magic medium. It has such power that it can retain interest...

The screen is a magic medium. It has such power that it can retain interest...

Laughter on American television has taken the place of the chorus in Greek tragedy. In...

Laughter on American television has taken the place of the chorus in Greek tragedy. In...