I dont care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.

Quote by Dwight Schrute

Topics: Dwight Schrute Quotes

I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions. And I did...

I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions. And I did...

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position...

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position...

Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th...

Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th...

Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel...

Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel...

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was...

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was...

There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule 17- There...

There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule 17- There...

The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont...

The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont...

He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat...

He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat...

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake...

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake...

I am faster than 80% of all snakes.

I am faster than 80% of all snakes.

My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man.

My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man.

When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me...

When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me...

The eyes are the groin of the head.

The eyes are the groin of the head.

I dont believe you, continue.

I dont believe you, continue.

I am not a security threat, and my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.

I am not a security threat, and my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with...

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with...

Why tip someone for a job Im capable of doing myself? I can deliver food....

Why tip someone for a job Im capable of doing myself? I can deliver food....

A 30-year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin. If I...

A 30-year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin. If I...

You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.

Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.