Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody.

Quote by Dick Van Dyke

Topics: Dick Van Dyke Quotes

I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old...

I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old...

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise...

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise...

Oh, well, my first love is comedy or singing and dancing.

Oh, well, my first love is comedy or singing and dancing.

No, no, it was the relationships. That was that group. People believed that Rob and...

No, no, it was the relationships. That was that group. People believed that Rob and...

My kids are so much better parent than I was.

My kids are so much better parent than I was.

Probably one of the happiest moments, outside the birth of all of my kids, was...

Probably one of the happiest moments, outside the birth of all of my kids, was...

So as my kids will tell you, they had a pretty normal life.

So as my kids will tell you, they had a pretty normal life.

I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot...

I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot...

But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so...

But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so...

I was always in show business but in many ways was not really of show...

I was always in show business but in many ways was not really of show...

I don't think we've got much of a chance to tell you the truth. But...

I don't think we've got much of a chance to tell you the truth. But...

But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to...

But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to...

I think most people will tell you that. They can go along and, while they're...

I think most people will tell you that. They can go along and, while they're...

My son Barry, of course, has been on from the beginning. And his son Shane...

My son Barry, of course, has been on from the beginning. And his son Shane...

I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit.

I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit.

A lot of violence, a lot of gore in it, and I just didn't want...

A lot of violence, a lot of gore in it, and I just didn't want...

I wanted to be a radio announcer.

I wanted to be a radio announcer.

I grew up in Danville, Illinois, right in the middle of the state.

I grew up in Danville, Illinois, right in the middle of the state.

I turned down some movies that were quite good. mainly on the basis of taste.

I turned down some movies that were quite good. mainly on the basis of taste.

I have four children and I have seven grandkids.

I have four children and I have seven grandkids.