For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!

Quote by Jay Leno

Topics: Jay Leno Quotes

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are...

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are...

Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are...

Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are...

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.

President Clinton, this guy is sharp. Boy, he gave Hillary the most romantic Valentine's gift...

President Clinton, this guy is sharp. Boy, he gave Hillary the most romantic Valentine's gift...

NBC - no body cares.

NBC - no body cares.

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together....

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together....

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife...

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife...

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife...

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife...

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least...

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least...

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal...

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal...

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff,...

Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff,...

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect...

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect...