If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Quote by Sam Levenson

Topics: Death Quotes, Funny Quotes

One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts...

One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts...

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common...

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common...

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.

Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts...

One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts...

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking...

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking...

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!

I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a...

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a...

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.

We should not permit prayer to be taken out of the schools; that's the only...

We should not permit prayer to be taken out of the schools; that's the only...

Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch...

Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch...

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and...

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and...

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen...

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen...

One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts...

One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts...

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.

Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to...

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to...