Monday is a dreadful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Monday Quotes

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.

As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.

As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely...

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely...

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush.

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush.

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're...

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're...

On his running for California Governor: It's the most important decision I've had to make...

On his running for California Governor: It's the most important decision I've had to make...

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi...

So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

When a man is tired of life on his 21st birthday it indicates that he...

When a man is tired of life on his 21st birthday it indicates that he...

At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.

Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.

I have discovered in 20 years of moving around a ballpark, that the knowledge of...

I have discovered in 20 years of moving around a ballpark, that the knowledge of...

Common sense is merely the deposit of prejudice laid down in the human mind before...

Common sense is merely the deposit of prejudice laid down in the human mind before...

Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?

Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?

Here Greek and Roman find themselves alive along these crowded shelves; and Shakespeare treads again...

Here Greek and Roman find themselves alive along these crowded shelves; and Shakespeare treads again...

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the...

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the...

Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.

Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.

Instead of hitting the garage door button, I hit the overhead light...then sat there and...

Instead of hitting the garage door button, I hit the overhead light...then sat there and...

Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear...'Monday has...

Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear...'Monday has...