Women are deep beautiful blue oceans and once a month its Shark week!

Topics: Funny Quotes, Women Quotes

It was one of the deadliest and heaviest feelings of my life to feel that...

It was one of the deadliest and heaviest feelings of my life to feel that...

At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I...

At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I...

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words...

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words...

Sickness is the vengeance of nature for the violation of her laws.

Sickness is the vengeance of nature for the violation of her laws.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my rocketship underpants dont help.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my rocketship underpants dont help.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in...

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in...

Now the peak of summer's past, the sky is overcast And the love we swore...

Now the peak of summer's past, the sky is overcast And the love we swore...

Electronic calculators can solve problems which the man who made them cannot solve; but no...

Electronic calculators can solve problems which the man who made them cannot solve; but no...

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank...

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank...

Im not really a good singer. But most people arent, either.

Im not really a good singer. But most people arent, either.

For, Heaven be thank'd, we live in such an age, when no man dies for...

For, Heaven be thank'd, we live in such an age, when no man dies for...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

A girl shuld be two things classy and fabulous.

A girl shuld be two things classy and fabulous.

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of...

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of...

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it...

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it...

From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we...

From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we...

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be...

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be...

I know the disposition of women: when you will, they won't; when you won't, they...

I know the disposition of women: when you will, they won't; when you won't, they...

People talk about my image, like I come in two dimensions, like lipstick is a...

People talk about my image, like I come in two dimensions, like lipstick is a...