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California is a great place to live if you're an orange.

#Fred A Allen

If you want to lose your faith, make friends with a priest.

#G I Gurdjieff

It's important to know that if you are dealing with shadows.

#Conrad Hall

If you catch him, just give me four seconds with Saddam Hussein.

#Bruce Willis

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either

#Chance

If you want to stay young-looking, pick your parents very carefully.

#Parents

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.

#Auguste Rodin

But life is tough and if you're creative, it's tougher.

#Bobby Short

If the Giver gives you a hill to plough, dont level it.

#Contentment

Here's proof that if you live long enough, anything is possible.

#Barry Manilow

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

You know, by the time you reach my age, you've made plenty of mistakes if...

#Life