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People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No...

I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No...

I get paid for what most kids get punished for.

I get paid for what most kids get punished for.

I've had great success being a total idiot.

I've had great success being a total idiot.

Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay...

Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay...

We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in...

We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in...

When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt...

When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt...

A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as...

A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as...

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman...

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman...