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I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent...
#Gilbert Gottfried
If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can...
#Gilbert Gottfried
No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
#Gilbert Gottfried
The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so...
#Gilbert Gottfried
Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.
#Gilbert Gottfried
Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.
#Gilbert Gottfried
Well, I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
#Gilbert Gottfried
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone...
#Gilbert Gottfried
I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
#Gilbert Gottfried