You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

Quote by Norman Wisdom

Topics: Norman Wisdom Quotes

I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to...

I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to...

I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and...

I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and...

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I...

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I...

I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to...

I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to...

In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go...

In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go...

I owe everything to the army.

I owe everything to the army.

I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason...

I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason...

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you...

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you...

I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get...

I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get...

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about.

I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.

I do play drums when I'm on tour.

I do play drums when I'm on tour.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a...

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a...

At my age, the radiation will probably do me good.

At my age, the radiation will probably do me good.

Of course I've done musicals here in London.

Of course I've done musicals here in London.

Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than...

Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than...

I play drums, clarinet, saxophone, trumpet, french horn, piano.

I play drums, clarinet, saxophone, trumpet, french horn, piano.

I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you...

I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you...

I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of...

I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of...