Whatever it is....my sister did it!
Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...
Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to...
I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all...
I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came...
The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age,...
Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make...
I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went...
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
Where love is concerned, too much is not even enough.
The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.
Best friends? Haha are you kidding me? More like sisters! Goofy pictures and crazy times....
There is no better friend than a sister. And there is no better sister than...