What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are politics if you can't obtain mastery over people and give them noogies back?

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Politics Quotes

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the...

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to...

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to...

It is a pity that, as one gradually gains experience, one loses one's youth.

It is a pity that, as one gradually gains experience, one loses one's youth.

While he was talking at Baylor University, President Bush said, Times are kind of tough....

While he was talking at Baylor University, President Bush said, Times are kind of tough....