To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

Quote by John Mortimer

Topics: John Mortimer Quotes

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric...

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric...

The greatest horrors of our world, from the executions in Iran to the brutalities of...

The greatest horrors of our world, from the executions in Iran to the brutalities of...

Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.

Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.

No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger...

No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger...

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They...

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They...

The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been made to sound...

The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been made to sound...

There is always time for failure.

There is always time for failure.

The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the...

The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the...

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They...

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They...

The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to...

The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to...

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as...

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as...

The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to...

The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to...

No brilliance is required in law, just common sense and relatively clean fingernails.

No brilliance is required in law, just common sense and relatively clean fingernails.

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure...

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure...

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure...

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure...