Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Quote by Evan Davis

Topics: Evan Davis Quotes

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when...

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when...

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this...

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this...

So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said...

So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said...

In the end, everything is a gag.

In the end, everything is a gag.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a...

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a...

Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters...

Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters...

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

The harvest of old age is the recollection and abundance of blessing previously secured.

The harvest of old age is the recollection and abundance of blessing previously secured.

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were...

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about...

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.

An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.

I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I...

I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I...

It is unthinkable for a Frenchman to arrive at middle age without having syphilis and...

It is unthinkable for a Frenchman to arrive at middle age without having syphilis and...

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her...

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her...

My boyfriend's name is sleep and I get some every night.

My boyfriend's name is sleep and I get some every night.