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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

They said that if you are unable to sleep, it's because there's someone thinking about...

They said that if you are unable to sleep, it's because there's someone thinking about...

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

The more the Time passes by, The more I love Him...

The more the Time passes by, The more I love Him...

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow...

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow...

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, Even over the longest distance. Same goes...

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, Even over the longest distance. Same goes...

He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead

He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead

As the rest of the world is walking out the door, your best friend's are...

As the rest of the world is walking out the door, your best friend's are...

Find that guy that will pick up every piece of your shattered heart & put...

Find that guy that will pick up every piece of your shattered heart & put...

God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to...

God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to...

If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go.

If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go.

No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make...

No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make...

I self destruct every relationship so that i don't get hurt... but in truth i...

I self destruct every relationship so that i don't get hurt... but in truth i...

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what...

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what...

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, Even over the longest distance. Same goes...

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, Even over the longest distance. Same goes...

Love wouldn't be blind if the Braille weren't so damned much fun.

Love wouldn't be blind if the Braille weren't so damned much fun.

Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.

Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.

Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: Dad, tell me again how when you...

Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: Dad, tell me again how when you...

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The...

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The...

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.

If vaudeville had died, television was the box they put it in.