Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Quote by Quentin Crisp

Topics: Quentin Crisp Quotes

The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as Soho poverty. It comes...

The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as Soho poverty. It comes...

Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically - for our mutual good....

Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically - for our mutual good....

Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and...

Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and...

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system...

Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system...

It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue....

It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue....

Manners are love in a cool climate.

Manners are love in a cool climate.

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once...

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once...

The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the...

The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the...

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years...

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years...

Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book...

Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book...

You should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality...

You should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality...

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the...

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the...

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms...

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms...

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as...

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as...

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.

I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.

Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.

Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.