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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there...

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per...

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize,...

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize,...

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by...

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by...

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two...

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...