If you can't afford taking your kids to the Zoo, try taking them to Wal-Mart...its essentially the same experience.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar...
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
The magician and the politician have much in common: they both have to draw our...
Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap ... but by the seeds you...
A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age.
I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go...
And almost every one, when age, Disease, or sorrows strike him, Inclines to think there...
I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport...
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet....
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
He'd make a lovely corpse.
How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board. It is...
One reason we have children I think is to learn that parts of ourselves we...