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I'm a fairly undisciplined writer.

I'm a fairly undisciplined writer.

As far as I'm concerned, the entire reason for becoming a writer is not having...

As far as I'm concerned, the entire reason for becoming a writer is not having...

You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all...

You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all...

Partly because I get such astonishingly nice fans.

Partly because I get such astonishingly nice fans.

We all not only could know everything. We do. We just tell ourselves we don't...

We all not only could know everything. We do. We just tell ourselves we don't...

I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They...

I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They...

There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing...

There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing...

I started writing when I was about 20, 21 maybe.

I started writing when I was about 20, 21 maybe.

I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They...

I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They...

Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some...

Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some...

Somebody would say, `Can you write us an article about big, bodice-ripping, blockbusting romance novels?'...

Somebody would say, `Can you write us an article about big, bodice-ripping, blockbusting romance novels?'...

Charitably...I think...Sometimes perhaps one must change or die. And in the end, there were perhaps...

Charitably...I think...Sometimes perhaps one must change or die. And in the end, there were perhaps...

I lost some time once. It's always in the last place you look for it.

I lost some time once. It's always in the last place you look for it.

You are time. Foul time, who steals the gold from a maiden's hair and takes...

You are time. Foul time, who steals the gold from a maiden's hair and takes...

The world always seems brighter when you've just made something that wasn't there before.

The world always seems brighter when you've just made something that wasn't there before.

Archimedes said that with a long enough lever and a solid enough place to stand,...

Archimedes said that with a long enough lever and a solid enough place to stand,...

Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some...

Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some...

I was cooking breakfast this morning for my kids, and I thought, He's (Ronald Reagan)...

I was cooking breakfast this morning for my kids, and I thought, He's (Ronald Reagan)...

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat...

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat...