I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire 'em.

Quote by Jack L Warner

Topics: Funny Quotes, Relatives Quotes

I've got America's best writer for $300 a week.

I've got America's best writer for $300 a week.

Some ticket buyers think they don't like Jews.

Some ticket buyers think they don't like Jews.

Experience is a dear teacher, and only fools will learn from no other.

Experience is a dear teacher, and only fools will learn from no other.

For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a...

For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a...

Explore your mind, discover yourself, then give the best that is in you to your...

Explore your mind, discover yourself, then give the best that is in you to your...

The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case

The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women...

Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women...

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing...

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing...

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with...

No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with...

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take...

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take...

A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to...

A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to...

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up,...

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up,...

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor.

No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor.

An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet.

An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet.

Relatives are the worst friends, said the fox as the dogs took after him

Relatives are the worst friends, said the fox as the dogs took after him