Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if you forget their birthday.

Quote by Jason Fundora

Topics: Funny Quotes, Witty Quotes

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and Im not sure about the...

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and Im not sure about the...

I dream for a living.

I dream for a living.

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

Playing a fun drinking game called: Girl alone with her cat.

Playing a fun drinking game called: Girl alone with her cat.

As I give thought to the matter, I find four causes for the apparent misery...

As I give thought to the matter, I find four causes for the apparent misery...

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run.

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run.

The most minor gifts and not a very high class way to earn a living....

The most minor gifts and not a very high class way to earn a living....

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my...

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my...

Some days I think that I would be much happier if I were single...and all...

Some days I think that I would be much happier if I were single...and all...

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see bird that had the...

Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see bird that had the...

There is nothing wrong with change...if it is in the right direction.

There is nothing wrong with change...if it is in the right direction.

We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.

We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.

To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.

To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I don't care how many warnings I get, I am still going to eat raw...

I don't care how many warnings I get, I am still going to eat raw...

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to...

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to...

Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force...except occasionally.

Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force...except occasionally.

I can believe anything provided it is incredible.

I can believe anything provided it is incredible.