Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

Quote by Proverb

Topics: Death Quotes, Funny Quotes

Love, like death, changes everything.

Love, like death, changes everything.

Maturity consists of no longer being taken in by oneself

Maturity consists of no longer being taken in by oneself

Opposites attract

Opposites attract

Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.

Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.

Among the blind, the squinter rules

Among the blind, the squinter rules

Choose your company before you drink.

Choose your company before you drink.

Knowledge in youth is wisdom in age.

Knowledge in youth is wisdom in age.

When your companions get drunk and fight, take up your hat and wish them good...

When your companions get drunk and fight, take up your hat and wish them good...

Set a thief to catch a thief

Set a thief to catch a thief

I fall back on this journal just as some other poor devil takes to drink

I fall back on this journal just as some other poor devil takes to drink

Children and fools cannot lie.

Children and fools cannot lie.

Cut the ground out from under him

Cut the ground out from under him

In courtship a man pursues a woman until she catches him.

In courtship a man pursues a woman until she catches him.

It is less painful to learn in youth than to be ignorant in age

It is less painful to learn in youth than to be ignorant in age

A handful of common sense is worth a bushel of learning

A handful of common sense is worth a bushel of learning

It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship.

It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship.

Money doesn't grow on trees

Money doesn't grow on trees

If you could run, as you drink, you might catch a hare.

If you could run, as you drink, you might catch a hare.

They say some of my stars drink whiskey. But I have found that the ones...

They say some of my stars drink whiskey. But I have found that the ones...

And we are witnesses of all things which he did both in the land of...

And we are witnesses of all things which he did both in the land of...