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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well...

ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well...

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if...

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if...

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should...

PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should...

OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to...

OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to...

PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method (according to Mimbleshaw's classification) of obtaining money by false pretences....

PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method (according to Mimbleshaw's classification) of obtaining money by false pretences....

Genius - to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to...

Genius - to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to...

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are...

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are...

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for...

Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for...

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

If this is a crush, then I don't know if I could take the real...

If this is a crush, then I don't know if I could take the real...

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage...

FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage...

I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle.

I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle.

Habit, if wisely and skillfully formed, becomes truly a second nature; but unskillfully and unmethodically...

Habit, if wisely and skillfully formed, becomes truly a second nature; but unskillfully and unmethodically...