I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Funny Quotes

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying...

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

There is something about saying Ok and hanging up the receiver with a bang that...

There is something about saying Ok and hanging up the receiver with a bang that...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back...

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance...

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance...

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in...

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in...

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze...

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a...

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a...

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

That's not serious; it's just human.

That's not serious; it's just human.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience...

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience...