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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of...

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of...

If this is a crush, then I don't know if I could take the real...

If this is a crush, then I don't know if I could take the real...

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as...

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as...

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal...

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal...

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of...

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of...

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is...

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is...

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress,...

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress,...

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

Capital Punishment, a penalty regarding the justice and expediency of which many worthy persons -...

Capital Punishment, a penalty regarding the justice and expediency of which many worthy persons -...

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself...

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself...

Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal...

Heaven: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal...

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of...

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of...

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making...

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making...

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity...

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity...

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.