Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
Quote by Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the...
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you...
INFLUENCE, n. In politics, a visionary _quo_ given in exchange for a substantial _quid_.
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and...
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities...
I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are...
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes...
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of...
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with...
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever...
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.